Family time or fun in the sun for Xmas?
VEXED IN THE CITY
SOLVING YOUR RECESSION PROBLEMS
DEAR VEXED: I’ve been with my new girlfriend for six months and I’m absolutely mad about her. I planned to take her away for a surprise blast of Caribbean sun over Christmas – I’ve even put down a deposit on a room in a gorgeous hotel in Turks and Caicos. But last week she told me she wants us to spend Christmas with her family. What should I do? Rob, 31, banker
AH, margaritas in the sun versus Christmas crackers with the potential in-laws in cold and dreary England. If you’re as crazy about this girl as you say you are, the obvious first priority is to ingratiate yourself with her nearests and dearests. She’s made it clear that her family is important to her. Better yet, she’s given you an open invitation to engage with them and therefore come closer to being part of the family. Seize this chance.
Rather than a dreary alternative to sweeping her off her feet under a palm tree, I suggest you view the holiday with her folks as a unique chance to woo her silly in the presence of those who can influence her opinions about you. Charm mum and dad with gifts – perfume for mum, whisky for dad (best to be traditional about these things) – and have a polished story about why you aren’t with your own folks (I can only assume they’re not alive or live elsewhere).
If you’re still thinking about how nice the Caribbean would be, remind yourself that feelings of guilt would arise the moment the plane took off. On one hand, your lady would feel enormous pressure to enjoy the holiday, meanwhile she’d be wracked with a feeling of wrongdoing. From her parents’ perspective you’d be the guy that broke up the carefully-planned family Christmas.
Lucky for you, the British winter lasts and lasts (there’s a silver lining to every cloud, eh?) I say: whisk her away for New Year or in mid-January. Maybe your deposit can be used towards another trip, but if not, what’s a few hundred quid when life’s happiness is at stake? Exactly.
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