My colleagues are canoodling in the boardroom
DEAR VEXED: A couple of colleagues have recently got into a relationship and they are being really indiscreet about it – I actually stumbled in on them snogging in the boardroom the other day when I went in to get something. It’s making everyone uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do or is this one for HR? Is it even a genuine issue? Angus, 31, commercial barrister
MY first instinct is to tell you to lighten up and go do some work – if you were adequately absorbed in something urgent I hardly think you’d be “stumbling” in on this pair in the boardroom, then having time to get all bent out of shape about it. Anyway, what bother is it to you if a couple of your colleagues are enjoying their honeymoon phase? Are you sure it’s not just sour grapes talking?
If the answer to that is no, then you probably do have a valid reason to act. You’re a City lawyer, after all, so I assume the environment of your office is fairly formal, stiff, quiet and with an emphasis on discretion – in some such places, office romances are grounds for dismissal so I wonder if your two think they’re being secret.
I also assume that the type of work you’re doing is demanding, exacting and tiring and you need to feel able to concentrate without a buzzing sense of discomfort all around you, and the fear that you’re about to see something you really shouldn’t have to see. Their sloppy boardroom snogging also adds a major strain on office dynamics as productivity inevitably suffers if you’re worried about who can and can’t be asked to collaborate on projects.
So what should you do? First, ask around among colleagues to make absolutely sure you’re not the only one who has noticed anything – and cares. Then, I’d drop them an email, as this is the quietest and least embarrassing way of giving them a heads up. But it should be just embarrassing enough to make them blush from neck to forehead and cringe with shame and vow to never be caught together again. Let them do that in the privacy of their offices, though. Once you’ve established you’re not alone in feeling disgusted and distracted, you can add heft to your email by saying: “There is a general feeling in the office that….”
If this doesn’t work or has the effect of causing a row, then it’s time to head down the hall to HR – and watch these two get separated the hard way.