On National Poetry Day, Morning Wire turns its searing newswriting hand to something more artistic
It's National Poetry Day – you may have seen – so while simultaneously reporting the biggest business stories and breaking news, Morning Wire journalists have written a few lines of poetry to cover some of the major talking points in recent days.
Vice reporter Francesca Washtell offers 'Sin Haiku':
Booze, cigs, sugar, bets,
Vice would seem to have it all,
Except for detox.
Oliver Gill has penned a pension poem:
Pension discussions to many are boring
Not uncommon to get people snoring
But when it comes to Tom McPhail
He can really tell a tale
And people look at him oh-so adoring.
Caitlin Morrison charts Michael Gove's fall from grace:
Michael Gove had a lot of big gripes
With lefty, Remainiac types
But when we voted Brexit
He was told "there's the exit"
And his career? It went straight down the pipes.
Digital editor Emma Haslett is Yellen about something:
There was a lady from New York
At hiking rates she used to baulk
But as D-day approached,
PMI's 50 was broached
And now she looks more like a hawk.
Tom Welsh queries Theresa May's desire for greater state intervention:
There once was a Prime Minister called May,
Out of Brexit she decided to make hay,
She increased the state
Until she realised too late
There was no one left able to pay.
Here's Jake Cordell, with a delightful limerick on the less delightful fall of the pound:
There once was some money called sterling
It was doing just fine under Merlin
Then Mark came along
Brexit went wrong
And now the pound's turned quite toe-curling.
Steve Dinneen is Morning Wire's Life and Style editor:
There’s a lifestyle team
We work around the corner
Don’t forget we’re here
Frank Dalleres saw fit to commemorate a 67-day career as England football manager:
There once was a coach called Big Sam
Who hubristically got in a jam
He blabbed to reporters
Then he got marching orders
Just like he did at West Ham.
Steve Hogarty wrote about Amber Rudd's new policies but unfortunately we can't repeat it.
Deputy business features editor Harriet Green talks up a bold, new Ed Miliband:
After flopping, a tombstone ass
Ed Miliband has discovered some sass
Bang on 'bout Theresa
Called her 'Marxist intervener'
Shame his plans are even more crass.
Billy Bambrough's rhymes are more Kanye than Keats.
High drug prices making execs sweaty
regulators busy planning busts already
but never fear, it’s just Martin Shkreli
Tracey Boles goes long on Deutsche Bank in 'Ode to DB'
Too big,
Or too big to fail?
That is the question
Which ails
A German bank
Whose share price sank
When talk of a fine
Made investors whine
And journalists opine
A lot.