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The Capitalist: Beavers, disgruntled Tesla owners and PR confessions

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KENT, ENGLAND - JULY 20: A beaver swims along a river on July 20, 2023 in Kent, England. The re-introduction of beavers into managed estates and private land across the UK has gathered momentum over the last few years. In 2002, two beaver families were released into a contained colony at Ham Fen nature reserve in Kent. Subsequent flooding of the reserve led to their escape and combination of these escapees and rumoured ‘illegal’ beaver releases into the river systems has led to an established population that now live in the river Stour catchment area. Proponents of re-wilding projects have welcomed the beavers pointing to the environmental benefits, but the trend is concerning farmers who worry about the negative impacts the animals could have on their land. Beavers shape their environment, felling trees which opens woodland canopy, increasing biodiversity, but they can also be damaging if the wrong trees are felled. As well as building lodges across rivers beavers also burrow into riverbanks with the entrances submerged, digging upwards into the bank creating chambers above water level along the side of riverbanks, often under farmers’ fields. There have been instances of farm machinery falling through fields into burrows that can lie just under the surface. Assessing and managing these conflicting views is the East Kent Beaver Advisory Group, (EKBAG). Following meetings with farmers the results of a census to ascertain beaver numbers on the Stour and the suitability of where their habitats are located, are being collated. The animals gained legal protection in the UK in October 2022, however ministers and MPs, including MP Sir Robert Goodwill, chair of DEFRA, have been urged to review their protected status in England. Mr Goodwill is calling for something similar to the 'German model' which would allow local communities to control beavers without unnecessary bureaucracy. (Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)
(Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)

Beaver fever, PR confessions and Tesla owners get creative. Catch up on the latest gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist

Be(aver) on the right side of history

Beaver fever has swept Westminster after the environment secretary announced that the aquatic rodents could be released into waterways as soon as this autumn. The plans were started under the last government but were put on hold as ministers feared beavers were a “Tory legacy” issue. But beaver releases are now thought to align with the government’s agenda as the animals work for free in flood prevention. Though hard-pressed taxpayers may welcome the plans, farmers are less happy. Already furious with the government about inheritance tax, the agricultural community has demanded the right to cull beavers should they become a nuisance. The Capitalist says: Dam.

The penny (doesn’t) drop

Former Tory leadership contender Penny Mordaunt has said that she was “privileged to meet members of the Azov battalion regarding prisoners of war being held by Russia”. While The Capitalist commends the sentiment, the Azov battalion has been politely described as “controversial” for its use of Nazi symbols and alleged human rights violations. As a former defence secretary she probably should have known that.

PR solution turns HR problem

The Capitalist has always held the deepest sympathy for PR professionals. Having to go on all those long boozy lunches must be such a hard slog. But an even harder slog, it turns out, is actually selling their clients into the papers. One publicist recently admitted to the The Capitalist that if they have a particularly boring client, they’ll write up the stories themselves and publish them on small websites, the PR professionals masquerading as journalists by using a fake name. Coverage is coverage, as the saying goes in PR-land, and the client is happy. Might be time to cancel that retainer. 

Musky view

Is it bad lighting or has that Tesla turned into a Toyota? Owners of Elon Musk’s cars have been rebranding their vehicles to turn them into Toyotas, Hondas, Mazdas, Audis and – well – pretty much anything other than anything bankrolled by Musk, according to images shared on social media. The Realratedred Instagram page suggests people are defacing their own cars over “speculation that owners are distancing themselves from the brand due to Musk’s controversial political ties“. The Capitalist can’t help but wonder whether sticking an Audi logo over a Tesla one is going to change much in US politics, but nonetheless we command the push for expression. 

Fun at the Kebaftas

SW1’s great and good were out in force at the Kebab Awards, aka the ‘Kebaftas’, on Wednesday evening. The Westminster Park Plaza hotel hosted MPs, lobby journalists and kebab restaurant owners – alongside belly dancers – for what’s, strangely enough, become one of the big nights out of the political year. The Capitalist dined, appropriately, last year on what we’d call a deconstructed kebab – but 2025’s feast was more of a roast dinner offering, with carrots, parsnips and gravy alongside various meats and a layered potato side dish. The silent auction also included a Tracey Emin sketch and framed Taylor Swift merchandise, but sadly the Capitalist’s expenses budget didn’t run to a bid.