The Capitalist: Bunking off work and rationing at Christmas time
Not turning up for work, an end to bonuses and mindfulness goes out the window: it’s the Christmas edition of The Capitalist
Bunking off? That’s the festive spirit
As the days and hours creep encouragingly towards that great long stretch of dead time we call Christmas, the topic of skiving off from work has become a common one. Popping out on the lunch break to source the odd Christmas prezzy is hardly a Cardinal sin, but one boss has taken to social media to vent his anger at corporate Scrooges. “I overheard a boss on the phone today explaining that staff can’t finish early on Xmas Eve because they are getting paid for a full day,” he wrote, seething, before encouraging a more rogue approach. “If you are an employer and you have the opportunity to let staff finish early on Xmas Eve, watch their child in a nativity or just squeeze some sort of extra joy out of 2024, think like Nike: Just Do It.” Sage advice.
Sohoho
One of the best Christmas parties in London took place last night at the Phoenix Arts Club, hosted as it is each year by the absurdly well-connected Oli Barrett and his chum Michael Acton Smith, the founder of meditation company Calm. Mindfulness was off the menu, however, as revellers crammed a venue deliberately bigger than last year’s as 2023’s bash ended up spilling into the streets and taking over a neighbouring restaurant. What started in a pub seven years ago now attracts an eclectic mix of corporate titans, creatives, writers, investors, movers and shakers – all of whom could be seen singing around the piano in the party’s traditional Christmas sing-along. Perhaps a bit of meditation could be just the ticket this morning.
Tis the season for…rationing
Amid the very stressful nationwide Guinness shortage, one London pub has taken serious precautions, introducing a ration card. “In these difficult times of Guinness rationing, we require our beloved patrons to purchase 2 other drinks before they can buy their ration of Guinness,” reads the card being distributed at The Old Ivy House, described as an “old school boozer” in Clerkenwell. “It’s true. We are down to 3 barrels with our next delivery not due until next Wednesday – at the busiest time of the year!!” But all is not lost: the landlord at the Old Ivy has a reassuring message: “We’ll get through this together.” The same Blitz Spirit was evident this week at legendary City lunch spot Sweetings, famous for its silver tankards of Guinness and Champagne. When fresh supplies of the black stuff literally rolled into the bar late on Wednesday afternoon, a very middle class cheer could be heard.
Christmas bonus banter
One consultant muddied the festive spirit on Linkedin this week by waging a war around Christmas bonuses, which aren’t as common in the UK as they were – unless you’re at a US law firm, that is. Amid all the end-of-year back-patting posts, he asked whether employees should get payouts, and the topic instigated fierce debate, although one business owner failed to mince his words when he shared his distaste for the concept. “I begrudge paying them,” he said. “I do a work night out, drinks paid for… a thank you for the hard work, and to forget the shite they’ve caused throughout the year.” Merry Christmas to you, too, sir. Others shared heartwarming nostalgia: “My first job in the 80s, everyone got a turkey!” Imagine lugging one home on the tube.
Trouble brewing?
Who says romance is dead? Dedicated LinkedIn followers of former punk brewer, James Watt, will have followed his love story with Georgia Toffolo, but it appears that the pesky issue of tax efficiency risks upending his plans to make an honest woman of her. He wants to invest in her new dog food business (“I’m a massive advocate of the mission” he says) but his tax adviser informs him that if he marries her within three years of making his investment he’ll lose out on EIS tax relief. He says this now leaves him facing “the ultimate question”, but The Capitalist feels the only real question here is why anyone would want to shack up with a man who brings his tax adviser into wedding plan chats.
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