The Capitalist: Feeling Bullish Lord Cameron?
David Cameron’s selective memory, a smooth landing for Andrew Bailey and a lack of Christmas spirit at ARM in this week’s Capitalist
David Cameron recently celebrated the 20 year anniversary of his election as leader of the Tory party, which he won on a platform of modernising the Conservatives. His days in the notorious Bullingdon Club were obviously incompatible with this objective, and the party went to great lengths to suppress images of him from his time with the society in white tie and tails.
The memory is clearly still a painful one, as a member of his office emailed Morning Wire yesterday demanding we change a picture of him accompanying a recent article. The offending image showed the former PM in – wait for it – white tie, and it was obviously triggering. Cameron’s staffer said our choice of image was “misleading” and must have been “deliberately selected.” We are happy to clarify that Lord Cameron has a range of outfits.
CHANCING THEIR ARM
Tech darling Arm left those of us who still care about the health of London’s capital markets bereft when it chose New York over a London listing on its return to the stock exchange in 2023. But our collective – and enduring – sorrow pales in significance to the forlorn group of East Anglian families who were left “furious” after the chip maker booked out the entirety of Cambridge’s Christmas market for its company party. “Thousands” of revellers were reportedly denied entry from the ferris wheel-boasting fair last Saturday, with one disgruntled local branding it “elitism at its worst”. The Capitalist is minded to side with the candy floss, gluwein-deprived on this one. Or perhaps we just still have a chip on our shoulder.
KEIR TOK
A big TikTok welcome to Keir Starmer who has defied a government ban on accessing the China-owned social media platform in order to launch his own stimulating short-form video content. His opening post was to the point: “TikTok, follow me..” he said, before disappearing through the famous black door. In response, a series of comments were quickly ‘liked’ by other users, including “am I going to get taxed for viewing your profile?” The PM is visiting TikTok home turf early next year when he heads to China. Will we get some Forbidden City content? Not likely, since the app is banned by the Communist authorities.
SMOOTH LANDING?
“One rule for them, another for us” has been a refrain of British political discourse in recent years as MPs and public officials have enjoyed special perks unavailable to the public. The Capitalist can reveal that the Bank of England’s Andrew Bailey too is living the high life. After taking a flight from Hong Kong yesterday morning, Bailey was greeted by special escorts holding signs with his name as he walked out onto the tarmac at Heathrow Airport. Commoners, meanwhile, had to board a dingy airport bus back to the terminal. With inflation still well above target, it looks like Bailey had a smoother landing than the British economy.
JOBS FOR THE BOYS?
Are the Tories all talk when it comes to backing British jobs? Earlier this week, the shadow Business Secretary, Andrew Griffith, posted on X that; “Seasonal employers are among the worst hit by Labour’s attacks on business”.
This was accompanied by a video of Santa Clause shutting-up-shop for lack of seasonal help, declaring “Labour have cancelled Christmas!”
That message might have landed slightly better if the Tories had actually hired human filmmakers to make said video… rather than generating it with AI.
It seems the Conservatives only back British jobs if it’s other people creating them.