The Capitalist: Guildhall’s gossip police on patrol as M&S boss skips Investment Summit
Dispatches from Labour’s Investment Summit, M&S’s CEO’s big night out and hijinks at Cheltenham: catch up on the latest City gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
GUILDHALL’S GOSSIP POLICE
Keir Starmer’s long-fought scrambled eggs and salmon offensive marched onto its victory parade this week, with the government hosting hundreds of business bigwigs at the Guildhall at its International Investment Summit on Monday as Labour marked its 101st day in government.
Style over substance was the flavour of the day, with many execs left none the wiser about policy direction due to the government’s just-about-100-days-box-ticking-geared decision to hold the event before rather than after the Budget, with a slapdash approach to organisation leaving many attendees a little ruffled. Morning Wire HQ is just a hundred yards from the Guildhall and The Capitalist spotted more than a few summit delegates in the streets at lunchtime, perhaps nipping out for a drink since the event itself was sans booze. One was overheard complaining on the phone that his meeting with the secretary of state for culture had been a waste of time. He went on to say “…and as for the business secretary…” but our spy lost their vantage point before hearing the end of that line. Perhaps for the best.
Meanwhile our resident reporter did their best to pick up whispers within the Guildhall itself, but found their efforts disrupted by the government’s rather conscientious press office, with even a trip to the bathroom chaperoned by a press officer. Reporters were also stopped from leaving the venue through the same exit as the millionaire guests, perhaps to prevent attempts to crash the event’s glitzy afterparty, attended by UK royalty King Charles III and Sir Elton John. Though who’s idea was it to hold the bash in a crypt?
THIS IS AN M&S INVESTMENT SUMMIT
But the Rocket Man wasn’t enough to tempt everyone. It would appear Marks & Spencer boss Stuart Machin had a clash in his diary, with the supermarket bigwig spotted front row at another major British event Monday night: Jane McDonald’s UK tour.
A source told The Capitalist the guest pass-wearing exec was much gushed over by the cruising-songstress-turned-loose-woman, who told the crowd at the London Palladium she would be a supervisor at M&S if she wasn’t a singer and thanked Machin for her flowers on stage. Machin, it would seem, opted to funnel his private investment directly into great British industry on the night.
COMRADE COMMUTERS
Travelling on the tube is an infantilising experience, bombarded as we are with signs urging us to slow down, take care, hold on and be nice to one another. Plus, since 2019 adverts for products considered harmful have been banned from the network. The censors are ruthless, with the policy even rejecting adverts for the West End play Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding because it featured… a wedding cake. Even artisanal cheese producers have fallen foul. Given this revolutionary zeal it’s been fun to note one organisation has been given the nod of approval to advertise; the Communist Party of Britain. Given the ideology is responsible for around 90m deaths across the world, some people might say it was harmful to health.
HIJINKS AT CHELTENHAM
Last week we noted Boris Johnson’s book launch party, and since then the former PM has been on a publicity blitz. Alas, not everyone is enthusiastic about his memoirs. At the Cheltenham Literature Festival a table displaying copies of his book attracted mischievous members of the public who kept adding other titles into the mix, including Sad Little Men by Richard Beard, I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You by Miranda hart, and Elif Batuman’s The Idiot. Diligent Waterstones staff kept removing the offending items, but they just kept finding their way back again.
OUR LOSS IS LONDON’S GAIN
Congratulations are in order to the former editor of Morning Wire, Andy Silvester, who is soon to take up a new position as the London Editor of The Times. As job titles go, this one has a charming ring to it. Andy is perfectly suited to this heavyweight new role, being a consummate and committed Londoner. We look forward to plenty of double page spreads on AFC Wimbledon in the paper of record, and we’re thrilled that he’ll be leading the charge for the capital at such an august title.