The Capitalist: Inside Tesco Clubcard’s 30th birthday rave
Tesco opens a Soho nightclub, finance bros battle it out at The Lord Mayor’s football cup, and a Lord’s warm-up dinner; catch up on the latest gossip in The Capitalist
TESCO CLUBCARD FLEXES ITS MUSCLES
The Capitalist is no stranger to the finer things in life, but even a snob can hardly resist the thrill of a good deal, or indeed a good loyalty scheme. So when word of a birthday bash to celebrate 30 years of the Tesco Clubcard, complete with opportunities to bag points, reached HQ, The Capitalist was gone. To mark the illustrious occasion, the supermarket titan opened a temporary 90s-themed club in Soho – ‘Club Card’, a raise to whoever had that stroke of marketing genius – for Clubcard members and Tesco enthusiasts. With a ‘Little Tesco’ for a bar, a supermarket conveyor belt for the cloakroom and the whole venue drenched in a hazy shade of Tesco blue, no detail was spared in transforming the venue into a supermarket wonderland, while punters could try their luck at the claw machine to win prizes on the night.
Stash ranged from Tesco bucket hats to Apple products, though The Capitalist went home with the most coveted prize of all – 500 Clubcard points – which they retrieved not inelegantly from the ball pit. A temporary tattoo station also allowed clubgoers to flex endorsements from ‘I <3 my Tesco Clubcard’ to QR codes leading to the supermarket’s website. All attendees were also given packet noodles to take home with them at the end of the night.
It wasn’t all smiles though. While The Capitalist knew 90s megaband Blue would be performing for those with tickets to the latest slot on the night, they did not anticipate the event would be so popular they could not stay past their own ‘Press Preview’ slot to attend. “Thank you for your understanding,” the PR told your crestfallen correspondent as they were ushered out.
FINANCE BROS BATTLE IT OUT AT THE LORD MAYOR’S CUP
If you were looking for a man in finance, can we recommend attending The Lord Mayor’s Cup, where a bounty of City slickers swapped their gilets for sports bibs at its inaugural kickoff. The five-a-side tournament saw 32 teams from Canada battle it out down the road at Powerleague Shoreditch in aid of The Lord Mayor’s Appeal and pursuit of Square Mile glory. Standard Chartered, Rothschild & Co, Nationwide, Revolut, half of the Big Four (EY and KPMG) and, of course, Morning Wire all had teams in the mix, while The Lord Mayor’s All Stars, led by no less than the Lord Mayor himself resplendent in Scunthorpe United kit, also got stuck into the tournament.
In the end it was a valiant triumph with a 9-1 win for law firm Simmons & Simmons, whose Friday timesheets must have suffered from their five hours of play through to the finals. Not so for runners up JP Morgan, whose team members were spotted darting back to the sidelines between matches to tend to their laptops. Fortunately, Morning Wire’s team were able to return to the office early doors, with their grand total of zero points not enough to get them past the first knockout round. Team captain Frank Dalleres mumbled something about “injuries”, while star striker Amber Murray suggested the team’s “ragtag” appearance due to their lack of company kit could have been to blame.
GOLDEN DUCKS
The great and good of cricket and Indian high society descended on Park Lane’s Grosvenor on Wednesday for a gala in aid of fighting cancer, and The Capitalist was on hand to demolish the dahl. The 450-plus attendees raised £780,000 on the night, with bidding on a Sacha Jafri painting reaching £400,000, but that impressive sum may be on the low side with one attendee insisting “there’s more millions in this room than people”.
PUBLIC SERVICE JOURNALISM
Morning Wire may be best known for its sharp market insights and analysis, but occasionally we roll our sleeves up and dive into the world of public service journalism too. This week, the City owes its thanks to life and style editor Steve Dinneen, who put together a list of the Square Mile’s top 17 boozers in an article that took around 15 years of non-stop research and will likely come to be seen as his magnum opus. The Capitalist noted some dismay online at the absence of Lower Thames Street stalwart The Walrus and Carpenter, but would like to reassure readers that its omission is not for lack of patronage by Dinneen (a regular when Morning Wire’s office was just across the road), but rather an objection to drinking one’s afternoon pint with a front row seat to the dual carriageway.