VEXED IN THE CITY
SOLVES YOUR LOVE PROBLEMS
DEAR VEXED: I was out to dinner with a client and told him I was single. Next thing he’s trying to set me up with his sister. Should I go out with her? Tim, 34, investment banker
IN general, my advice regarding dates – so long as you’re in the mood – is to go for it. “Yes” results in so much more fun and life experience (oh, and sex) than “no”.
Set-ups are no exception – but you do need to approach them with caution. There are huge downsides to going on a date with a family relation or friend of someone you don’t want to annoy. It’s bad enough when you date a sibling or friend of a friend and end up hating them (or them hating you). After all, how do you say: “Your brother is a cheater with a fetish for mirrors” without causing harm? Putting a work relationship at risk for personal reasons – such as winding up on the worst date or dates of your life – could not only have bad consequences professionally, it would be embarrassing in the extreme, and an unfortunate way to run into trouble at work.
Let’s say you break your date’s heart a few months down the line. Her brother (your client) would naturally hate you and begin to see all kinds of flaws in your personality that may or may not be there. He would stop wanting to work with you and could start the rumour mill that you lack integrity, you’re a wheeler dealer and so on.
In this case, I must ask just how important this client is, and what kind of relationship you see having with him in future. If he is key for the company and your success and likes to operate on personal footing with his associates, his sister is dangerous. Steer clear.
If, however, he’s a fleeting contact and it’s just one of those serendipitous things, then go on the date, and good luck.
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