We’re starved of a holiday and it’s driving me up the wall
SOLVING YOUR WORK-LIFE PROBLEMS
Business has been bad for my boyfriend and we’ve had to cancel our holidays all year. I’m at my wits’ end – especially now that everyone’s coming back all rosy and fresh from their August holiday. I’m feeling a lot of resentment. What should I do? Judy, IT, 31
I DON’T blame you: holidays aren’t just a break from work, they’re a vital chance for couples to reconnect. There is no doubt, though, that the problem is made worse by the sight of all your friends returning from their summer holidays or talking about heading off on a late-summer trip.
While your partner may feel as though he has no business heading off to sunny climes when money is hardly flowing and he needs to work as much as possible, I think he may need a gentle but firm conversation in which he is told – to put it frankly – that he has the wrong end of the stick.
There are a few things at play here. One: materially it’s unlikely that taking one week off is going to make much difference to business. Especially in holiday season when many potential clients are also away.
Second: he sounds like he’s in a rut: professionally and mentally. Getting away could be a very valuable chance for him to get some fresh perspective that can also lead to better ideas at work and greater success. It could be the catalyst to get things moving at work.
Third: what planet is he on? Technology makes working from abroad – Thai beach hut, Wyoming shack, Cornwall cottage – entirely possible (time zones aside).
But I wouldn’t encourage him to take work on holiday, rather to think of it as an emergency measure. If his head is buried in his Blackberry while you’re taking your hard-won few days together, that could lead to a proper explosion.
Finally, put it clearly that your relationship will suffer (is suffering) without time to reconnect together. Offer to plan the holiday yourself, say you’ll bear in mind his requirements or concerns such as needing wifi access, budget and so on, but don’t forget to take your own desires into consideration. You deserve a holiday too!
Don’t despair: Spetember and October is a lovely time to go away – better temperatures, fewer tourists, less expensive. Even a four day weekend can help. Good luck and enjoy.
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