Why are a third of British men hiding money from their partners?
A surprising number of couples are hiding their wealth from each other, according to new research, writes Christine Ross
Research shows that levels of trust in today’s Britain are at, or near, all-time-lows. The public has lower levels of trust than ever before in the government, the media and many businesses. At least until now it’s seemed as if we trust one another – especially our partners. However, new figures suggest this, too, is under threat. According to Handelsbanken’s latest research, a surprising number of couples are hiding their wealth – from each other.
This year’s Handelsbanken Wealth Survey – an independent, nationally weighted poll of 4,000 adults – found that 29 per cent of Britons admit to having money they keep secret from their other half. And it’s not just a few quid in the sock drawer, or the “running away fund” beloved of books and films; nor is it confined to one gender. Both men and women alike are keeping sums squirreled away – sometimes quite significant ones.
The numbers vary slightly by gender, and significantly by age. Firstly, a full third – 33 per cent – of British men are keeping funds hidden from their partners. The most popular way is via secret bank accounts, whether current or savings, although 11 per cent also have secret investments. One in 20 – five percent – holds secret assets, in some cases even including property. Meanwhile, over a quarter of British women – 26 per cent – are doing the same.
Cash is not king
Fortunately, the one place they all trust is their bank. The money is least likely to be hidden under the mattress, whether literally or metaphorically; just eight per cent of men claim to be hiding physical cash around the house. Women are even more sensible at just six per cent. But the overall numbers may still come as a surprise. The average British man is hiding just over £40,000, whilst the average woman has secreted £30,000. Controversially, if you account for the increasing “wealth gap” between men and women observed in this year’s survey, these numbers suggest that – among those who choose to hide wealth from their partners – women might be hiding a greater proportion of their assets than their male counterparts.
So why is this happening? Some analysis is necessary, but it quickly proves the old adage that “revealed preference beats stated preference every time”. When we asked respondents whether they were “worried that divorce would derail their finances”, they were overwhelmingly either ‘unconcerned’ or rather optimistic – just one in five said ‘yes’. This might appear slightly unrealistic, since ONS statistics show that, whilst divorces have fallen from their 1990s peak, 42 per cent of British marriages are still expected to fail the course. Nevertheless, true love doth indeed cast out all fear, or so it would seem!
However, separate this into two questions – specifically, “how worried about divorce are you?” and “are you hiding money from your partner?” – and then compare the figures across the age groups, and the correlation becomes strikingly apparent. For women, fear of divorce peaks in the 18-24 age group, which is also the cohort hiding the most money. For men it’s the 35-44 bracket who fear separation the most, and over half of them – 51 per cent – are salting away covert funds.
All this subterfuge is, of course, somewhat moot. Under UK law, during a divorce both parties have a legal duty to provide a “full and frank” disclosure of all their assets. If they’re found to have intentionally concealed them, there can be serious consequences, with cases reopened, and penalties imposed – up to and including imprisonment.
A more romantic view might suggest less sinister reasons for the concealment. By far the largest proportion of respondents (34 per cent) were hiding a sum of between £500 and £5,000. This could, after all, be earmarked for a nice surprise – the average spent on engagement rings in the UK falls squarely within that bracket.
But for those who are hoarding greater sums, it’s probably worth scheduling a chat with a financial adviser about whether it’s really being held, and used, in the best possible way. Not least because that’s one area where we know that Britons have good, open, working relationships – a 2022 FCA investigation found that 87 per cent of those who used a financial adviser trusted them.
In the meantime, maybe start by having a word with your other half?
Christine Ross is head of private office at Handelsbanken