Why dining alone is the last taboo
During a recent solo trip to a new wine and oyster bar, I was directed to a dim corner of the restaurant far away from other diners. It was as if the patrons needed to be protected from the sad, friendless clown doing a sudoku and enjoying an alcohol free beer.
As the waiter came over to talk me through the menu he pointed out that “we tend to do sharing platters here, which are for two people rather than one”. But he made a mistake: don’t assume Jamie can’t handle a sharing board of oysters.
Our continued reluctance to dine alone, even as other solo pursuits become more accepted, never ceases to infuriate me. I won’t let my lack of a romantic partner stop me from experiencing all that life has to offer.
When I tell people I like to go dining alone, I’m often met with pity, surprise or incredulity. How does that even work? Well, it’s quite simple – it doesn’t need to be approved by the solo dining ombudsman: you simply walk into a restaurant and ask for a table for one.
Being able to switch off from my phone and do a crossword, or just sit and watch the world go by, is a wonderful experience. We should all learn how to enjoy our own company, especially in a world that pedestals romantic love and overlooks those who skate confidently through life in their own lane. As a writer, there’s nothing more exciting than being a stylish fly on the wall, listening to the birthday party opposite or the couple on their first date. It’s an exercise in being present in the moment and allowing yourself to drink in your surroundings (as well as your overpriced mocktail).
I’ll often see fellow solo diners, and although we’re strangers we often exchange a knowing nod before returning to our crème brûlées, debunking the myth that time spent alone is inherently lonely.
Should you make a habit of indulging in romantic meals for one, you will inevitably forge connections with those around you, too. If you’re nice to people (and they’re rich) they might even pay for your meal. One time eating out in a fancy restaurant, a family at the next table were trying to take a group photo ‘Ellen at the Oscars’ style. They were scrambling to get everyone in frame so I politely asked if they wanted me to take it for them. They acted as if I had offered to donate a kidney, thanking me profusely.
When I returned to my table and asked for the bill I was flabbergasted to find they had paid for the whole thing as a thank you. If I had known, I would’ve ordered dessert.
So my advice to you should you spot a new restaurant you want to try: don’t wait a month until one of your mates has a night off. Just book a table. Go alone. Live your life. And if you see me sitting in the corner, you’re very welcome to buy me dinner.
• Jamie is a writer, model and public speaker; @jamie_windust