Why is it still so hard to listen to women?
Virginia Giuffre’s tragic death must ignite a bigger debate about why we’re so quick to doubt women, writes Heather Blundell in today’s Notebook
“Is protesting the answer?” asked Virginia Guiffre in the final note to her family, revealed last week. “I don’t know. But we’ve got to start somewhere.”
Her implacable sadness burns through the words, and all doubts the media raised over her story have evaporated. Yet just days beforehand many commentators branded her a mentally ill fantasist because she claimed she had just days to live after a car crash.
Here was a mother who suffered abuse as a young girl before being trafficked for sex as a teenager. Her vulnerability was exploited by manipulators, who continued to crush her even after she found the courage to speak up.
Virginia was a fearless advocate for survivors of sexual abuse who inspired other survivors to come forward. Taking the brave step of waiving her anonymity meant her voice could be heard as well as read. Her tears, now seen, had to be believed. She was a heroine who, right up until the end, exposed her pain to help others. Yes, she took a reported £12m payout from Prince Andrew, but it was also reported she gave most of this away to abuse charities.
Of course her mental health suffered. But it was appalling to witness how people seized on her Instagram post claiming she had been hit by a school bus and had four days left to live. ‘She was clearly making that up’, went the argument, ‘so she must have made everything else up.’ A champion of women, change and truth is now gone, leaving three children without a mum.
Her tragic death must now ignite a fuller debate. Why are we so quick to doubt a woman who claims to be a victim of abuse? Why, even, is the government so comfortable this week after one of its most senior ministers dismissed a question about the grooming gang scandal as ‘blowing a little trumpet’?
So, is protesting, campaigning and calling out abusers wherever we see them the answer to stopping their vile crimes? As Virginia Guiffre said, we’ve got to start somewhere. And maybe a start is believing women when they are alive.
Masculinity must be celebrated too
Masculinity has become a dirty word in some quarters, and it’s not hard to see why. Strength, leadership and ambition are lazily characterised as flaws. The brilliant outgoing Channel 4 boss Alex Mahon makes the point that boys are too often told they’re the ‘problem’, which creates fertile ground for those like Andrew Tate to flourish. She is right in that we need to stop referring to masculinity as “toxic” and celebrate it instead. We don’t dwell enough on the men who exhibit true grit, humility and determination. Perfect examples like Jamie Laing and his ultra marathons, just-turned-fifty Becks and of course the WW2 warriors who we remember this week. As a mum of two young boys, I know how vital strong male role models are – so let’s elevate the good, as well as raging against the bad.
Progress needed on FTSE gender gap
I am excited to support the Women in Work Summit this October, joining a remarkable team and an inspiring line-up of leaders including Alex Mahon from Channel 4, Greg Jackson from Octopus Energy and Anna Whitehouse from Mother Pukka, who are committed to advancing equity for women at every stage. Recent findings from the 30% Club underscore the urgency of this work. While the overall number of women on boards has increased, just 10 per cent of FTSE 100 companies are led by women. This is a stark reminder of the progress still needed. You can register for the event here.
Quote of the week:
“If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.”
Jim Rohn
Met Gala fails to dazzle
The Met Gala attracted opprobrium for being downbeat and lacking flamboyant showstoppers. Sure, there was nothing like Kim Kardashian wearing the dress in which Marilyn serenaded JFK and nobody came close to Katy Perry’s 2019 cheeseburger dress. But we are living in complicated times and if fashion looks sober right now it’s merely reflecting wider anxieties in society. Besides, how could the celebs really compete for shock value with the White House’s shared image of the President as the new Pope?
Heather Blundell is the CEO of Grayling UK