Fried chicken and Parker pens: A day at Labour’s business bonanza
“I think this is the only job where you can get some positive press just by eating a few prawn cocktails and having some nice dinners.”
He was joking, of course, but as Jonathan Reynolds opened his talk at Labour’s business conference at the Kia Oval cricket ground, it contained a ring of truth.
The party’s efforts to seduce the business community, from sole traders to mega-corporations, has gone far from unnoticed.
Media – ourselves included – have dubbed it everything from prawn cocktail 2.0 to the scrambled eggs and smoked salmon offensive.
And at today’s somewhat star-studded event, there was a fair amount of ‘job well done’ vibes, even amid continued questioning over that contentious £28bn green investment promise.
Arriving at the south London venue, a table plan indicated the some 400 attendees were arranged on 40 tables of ten, each place-setting boasting goodies including an embossed notepad and Parker pen.
No wonder, at £1,000 a head, with sponsors including HSBC, Bloomberg and SSE.
Shadow Chancellor Rachel Reeves got things underway with her speech at 10am. Coming shortly after Labour’s plan for Canada was published, it was another love-letter to business and one delivered in her now-trademark deep (voice-trained?) tones.
Policy announcements included Labour capping corporation tax at 25 per cent throughout the next parliament, as well as retaining the full capital expensing scheme; notwithstanding the “iron clad fiscal rules” and “iron discipline” we’ve come to expect.
‘Just add a handbag’, some leftwing critics might say, but her approach appears to be working on the public to some degree: Reeves’ wordcloud boasts ‘competent’ front and centre.
One finance attendee told me – over a lunch of fried chicken, Cumberland hotdogs and coleslaw salad – that it was “hard not to be [impressed]” with the changes, adding: “They’ve done their homework.”
Another noted how “different” Labour was to how things were under predecessors Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell, saying “most” of their submission was now mentioned in their sector strategy document.
“It would take a massive upset now for them to lose the election, I think,” they added.
A third noted: “They’ve listened, they know what we want: certainty.” That word – alongside stability – was the overarching theme, the endless repetition banging us over the head.
Strategists say if those who are paid – or sad enough – to follow politics obsessively are sick to the back teeth of certain messages, the public might just about be starting to recognise it.
Shadow cabinet ministers were told to drop in throughout the day to rub shoulders with top bosses from Google, Heathrow, Microsoft and AstraZeneca, and there was no shortage of appearances for the culmination of several year’s work rebuilding relationships.
Several teams are understood to be working on business engagement, from those drafting the manifesto to those preparing for the first 100 days.
Everyone from Darren Jones, Bridget Phillipson and Thangham Debbonaire to Anneliese Dodds, Peter Kyle and Tulip Siddiq showed face to gladhand the C-suite, or the public affairs staff there to represent them.
And those I spoke to were keen to emphasise their intentions: To listen, provide consistency, and remain agile.
After lunch, the schmoozing continued, topped off with Keir Starmer’s keynote address.
Introduced by Constantin Cotzias of Bloomberg, he was grilled afterwards – with apparently pre-agreed audience questions – in a Q&A with the National Grid boss Paula Reynolds.
It was a slick, if rehearsed, performance, with a clear underlying message: ‘You can trust us’.
The proof, as ever, will be in the pudding. Some attendees were yet to be convinced, with a handful admitting to reporters they weren’t sure if, and how, various Labour plans could be funded or delivered.
One line in Starmer’s speech, claiming “we will also build 1.5m new homes for your workers”, might raise a few eyebrows in particular.
While Politico reported overhearing Reeves being described as “wooden” during media questions.
An interview with Sky News’ Beth Rigby saw her decline ten times to confirm the £28bn amount – hinting only at an update after the March 6 Budget – suggesting trouble yet to come.
But back at the Oval, perhaps a Gen Z Labour staffer had been put in charge of the playlist, with a Harry Styles track featuring the lyric ‘you know it’s not the same as it was’ blaring out in between speakers.
Subliminal messaging; perhaps. Accurate; certainly.