Madame Web review: A poisonous new low for superhero movies
The build up to the latest Spider-man spin-off hasn’t filled movie fans with excitement, if they’re even aware of it at all. The posters for Madame Web give little away other than the faces of the impressive cast, while star Dakota Johnson gave a dubious description of the film while hosting Saturday Night Live: “Kind of like if A.I. generated your boyfriend’s perfect movie.” That may have been a joke, but given Hollywood has suffered a couple of high-profile box-office bombs already in 2024, producers may be hoping not to be the next punchline.
To put it very basically, Sony Pictures own the Spider-man movie rights, but not Disney’s main Marvel Cinematic Universe. Both studios share the character for main MCU films, but Sony also have their own spin-off movies like Venom, Morbius, and now Madame Web. Johnson stars as Cassie, a paramedic who develops clairvoyant abilities. Through these new powers, the socially awkward Cassie must save three teenage girls from Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), a hunter with a connection to her past.
Another year, another pointless superhero entry. Yes, there have been some hits after 2019’s high point, Avengers: Endgame, both in the main MCU timeline and Sony’s Spider Verse. However, Madame Web is another example of the barrel being scraped in the hopes that audiences will buy into anything with superpowers. The script is painful at times, preferring bland exposition instead of trusting audiences to understand what’s going on.
There is a glimmer of hope in Cassie’s characterisation as a recluse who views her powers as a nuisance, but that quickly fades once she inevitably has to take the plot seriously (well, someone should!). On the whole, it’s an empty cat-and-mouse thriller that might have had something to say had it been released twenty years ago (when the film is set), but now feels like an awkward apology for a franchise starter.
Johnson’s sardonic demeanour may work for some, but it’s clear the Fifty Shades actor would much rather be somewhere else. Equally Rahim, best known for award winners A Prophet and The Mauritanian, is turning up for the blockbuster pay day in a forgettable bad guy role. The three teens – Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, and Euphoria star Sydney Sweeney – all fight against bland material that’s happy to put them in teen pigeonholes.
Perhaps the film’s greatest sin is the lack of connection between the female leads. Basing a superhero movie around sisterhood or found family would have been a fresh way to approach this kind of film, something that the MCU almost achieved with The Marvels. Instead, these women are bunched together for arbitrary reasons that never get built on.
Madame Web feels like the depressing nadir act of corporate movie franchises, thrashing around for nearly two hours looking for a reason to exist. Bereft of ideas and invention, it’s a prime example of the laziness that has seen superhero movies descend into their seemingly terminal downward spiral.