Nothing Headphones (1): Look like the coolest Cyberman around
The new Nothing Headphones (1) grab you before you’ve even taken them out of the box. They are transparent like a Game Boy from the 1990s, exposing the tech that lies within. It gives them a retro, science-fictiony look, with the boxy profile of a Cyberman. They are not for everyone but I’m obsessed.
Because let’s be honest, headphones aren’t just about the music. They’re a signal to potential lovers, friends, admirers and haters. On that front, the Nothing Headphone (1) are absolutely killer. I got so many compliments from baristas, passers by, fellow commuters, Tesco cashiers, and colleagues that I started to feel like a celebrity. “I love your headphones,” they all said, in stunned admiration, the likes of which I had never experienced.
It must be said that no item of clothing I’ve ever worn has ever been received with such universal reverence (admittedly that may say something about my sense of style – but the good news is I don’t need to worry about clothes anymore. I’ve got my Nothing Headphones). The only person who didn’t compliment me was my sister, my harshest critic, who asked if my headphones were “broken”.
I’ve been a long-term admirer of Nothing. Ever since I got my first Nothing Phone, I haven’t stopped talking about it. The transparent back, which shows you the guts of the phone. The programmable glyphs that flash up unique symbols for each person in your contacts book. Sure, it’s basically just a regular Android phone that lights up but it looks awesome.
So it passes the vibe check – but do they actually sound good? Well, receiving my new Nothing headphones coincided with a brief but intense interest in heavy metal (thank you, San Francisco-based black metal band Deafheaven). These headphones were a formative part of that experience. The track Heathen combines a hazy, almost California-indie sound with singer George Clarke’s trademark guttural death growl and you can make out both with pleasing and slightly alarming clarity. More traditional metal tracks like Magnolia are appropriately bass heavy. These are headphones you can rock out to.
The Active Noise Cancellation (ANC) is next level. This is most noticeable when walking around: if a siren comes up to you from behind, as it gets closer you can feel the whole sound shift to block it out. It’s quite something. It gives you the ability to live entirely in your own world, even on a 1am train from Brighton to London that’s inexplicably filled with goths and a bunch of other noisy freaks.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to work out how to use the rolling volume button – a tactile little scrolling wheel on the side of the headphones – but once it clicked, it became second nature. The pleasure of the physical movement still gives me a little thrill (clicking is so over). The battery lasts an astonishing 35 hours and five minutes of charge will give you an impressive 2.5 hours of playtime. Other perks that we have come to expect, such as the ability to connect to multiple devices at the same time via Bluetooth, are present and correct.
It’s also worth noting that the memory foam ear pads are sweat resistant. This means you can actually jog with them, or do other sweat-producing activities (maybe not the one you’re thinking of… or actually…) – without damaging the headphones.
For too long we’ve had to endure boring, plain, everyone’s-a-sheep type headphones (I’m looking at you, Sony and Bose). Not anymore. Now I can look like a Cyberman in the office. And I won’t have to buy a new Halloween outfit. So really, for just £299 – very reasonable when judged against comparable alternatives – these are a steal. Come join my army.