A right Royal WEDDING
We at Morning Wire can be a cynical bunch. We confess there have been moments in the run-up to the royal wedding on 29 April that have made us roll our eyes, such as T Mobile’s yawnsome wedding spoof video and the release of the awful-looking William & Kate: The Movie. Others, though, have raised woops of joy, such as the delivery of a Will and Kate commemorative dishtowel and royal wedding sushi plate.
But in the end, cynicism won’t make us happy – nor you either. So we say: just give up and get into the spirit of the royal nuptials. Here are seven ways to do it.
1 Get in touch with your inner Sloane. Start geographically, and head to the King’s Road, where you should stop by Crazy Larry’s and of course, Public, Will’s best mate Guy Pelly’s latest venture. Pucci Pizza on King’s Road is also a Sloaney must for sustenance (be sure not to eat more than a bite or two, though). Nip into Peter Jones, too, for some Kate-style gifts. Life’s not just about drinking and shopping, one must take exercise, too, so enroll in polo lessons, the royal sport of choice (start at www.polo.co.uk).
2 Party like a royal. Line your stomach with high tea at the Goring Hotel in?Belgravia, where the Middletons will be staying for the wedding. Then head out into the Kensington night, aided by a magnum of Snow Queen vodka at Boujis, Kate and Will’s notorious favourite haunt, before heading on to the speakeasy Bart’s on Sloane Avenue, where the super-sweet cocktail list will knock you out, royally.
3 Take your kids around Eton and Marlborough – if you want them to mix with royalty and walk in the footsteps of Will and Kate, that is. Eton’s imposing brickwork and glorious quandrangles make for a lovely day out, while Marlborough’s in a lovely Wiltshire market town. Eton is so close to Windsor Castle it would be criminal not to pop into the royal residence.
4 Embrace patriotism. Spend a night at the?Union Jack room at the newly opened Zetter Hotel in Clerkenwell, where union jack bunting decks the bed. thezetter.com
5 Stock up on commemorative tat. Come on – you know you want a selection of wedding mugs. Harvey Nicks has a particulary fetching one with “Quince William and Skate Middleton” written on the side (£20). Then there’s a special edition Austin Reed tie, Will and Kate teabags (available at Quintessentially Gifts) and even a Will and Kate condom – available at some central London newsagents. And don’t forget the Yo!?Sushi wedding plate, the dishtowel and the doll.
6 Dress like you’re entitled to the throne. Wear a sheer dress with your pants showing, as Kate was when she first enticed Will, and preferably go roller discoing at the same time, another of Kate’s favourite activities. Or if you’re a bloke, head to Gieves and Hawkes – the tailor who made Will’s RAF – and wedding – uniform. Even David Cameron will be going to the wedding in tails – the commoner look that he displayed on his recent EasyJet holiday so last season.
7 Throw a street party. Stock up on cakes by Fiona Cairns (www.fionacairns.com) who is making the royal wedding cake. We think it’s worth making a one-off wedding cocktail, too: elderflower cordial, champagne, gin and a splash of strawberry jam. A Kate Royale.