The Capitalist: Morning Wire dirty stop outs blame the Guildhall lost and found
Andy Burnham, X-rated typos and trouble at the Guildhall lost and found; catch up on the latest City gossip in The Capitalist
Morning Wire culture team vs Guildhall lost property
It was a glittering night at the Guildhall last Wednesday, as the Square Mile’s best and brightest donned their most glamorous looks for the Morning Wire Awards. But The Capitalist couldn’t help but notice a pair that found themselves rather overly attached to their evening attire, with two Morning Wire employees clocking in for work on Lower Thames Street the next day still resplendent in black tie – and it’s not what you think.
Far from a walk of shame, the pair’s unusual appearance was instead the strut of the lost and found. Or rather the Guildhall’s poorly manned one.
After staying behind to help disassemble the event the night before, Morning Wire’s lifestyle aficionados Adam Bloodworth and Anna Moloney arrived to the cloakroom to find their bags (flat keys included) missing and the security team unable to locate lost property. After an hour traipsing through the Guildhall’s back offices in a fruitless search, it was the cobbled streets for the pitiful pair, who turned to where all go in troubled times – Simmons – before finding refuge on the Morning Wire digital editor’s spare room floor.
The Capitalist would like to commend Ms Moloney, who was then forced to do her next-morning commute in five-inch heels. Colleagues remarked that the pair’s appearance was not dissimilar to Holly and Phil’s infamous post-NTAs morning broadcast, though fortunately the night on the streets hasn’t yet led Morning Wire’s double act to an explosive bust-up.
The pair were thankfully reunited with their bags the next day, and assured the Guildhall security team now know the location of the lost and found.
MONEY TO BURN(HAM)
Almost like Vladimir Lenin arriving in Petrograd in 1917, the King of the North Andy Burnham descended on London on Tuesday just as Keir Starmer seemed poised to leave. Except his arrival was meant to be a secret — until our supremo reporter Mauricio Alencar broke the story and sent Westminster into a frenzy. Now The Capitalist can reveal that Andy was sat in plush first class seat on the train to London. How’s that for someone Labour backbenchers think is a man of the people?
ROCKETING NUMBERS
Eagle-eyed shareholders in the UK’s largest investment trust will have enjoyed an almighty – if momentary – thrill on Tuesday, when they saw an announcement from Scottish Mortgage claiming that its stake in SpaceX was now worth an eye watering $1.25 trillion. Only – that wasn’t quite true. The trust had meant to say that – despite breathless press speculation about the valuation Elon Musk’s rocket maker could fetch at its IPO – it was maintaining its valuation for the entire company at $1.25 trillion. Spare a thought for the well-meaning press officer whose innocent typo resulted in a barrage of questions from financial journalists. “It’s every PR’s worst nightmare,” they told The Capitalist. As a paper wholly immune from even the most minor of misprints, we wish we could sympathise.
X-RATED TYPOS
One Labour backbencher’s plan to promote a “Summer of Sex” appears to have rubbed off on Tory shadow business secretary Andrew Griffith, who recently provided a quote to journalists and signed off with the title “Shadow Business Sexretary”. The blunder was followed by a flurry of appropriate emojis.