Worst corporate jargon awards: ESG
Offender: ESG
Every one of us has been an email chain which is borderline unintelligible for the amount of corporate lingo thrown in there. At Morning Wire, we’re taking a stand and calling out the worst jargon which travels around the City faster than you can drink an overpriced pint. This week: ESG.
What does it mean?
Environmental, social and corporate governance. What does that mean? We’re not really sure, but we know companies love shouting about how they’re doing it (and then later being a little quieter when it’s found out how they’re not doing it).
According to Good Finance’s jargon buster – a useful, plain-speaking tool flagged to us by a diligent anti-corporate jargon foot soldier – the term is used to refer to non-financial performance indicators focusing on ethical, sustainable and corporate governance. Net zero, carbon footprints and gender pay gaps are favourites of the genre.
Who uses it?
In a rare piece of good news for this dreary series, not as many as you may fear. While the term is as prolific as a Pret within the Square Mile, recent comforting research found that only 13 per cent of the wider population have any idea what ESG is, let alone use it. Indeed, more Brits believe in aliens, a delusion far less troubling than that of believing your humdrum corporate life is changing the world.
What could it be confused with?
- Ticking boxes
- A dyslexic take on the alphabet
- New wave genre of synth-pop (Electronic Shimmy Grooves perhaps?)
Should we be worried?
Undoubtedly. As well as its contentual meaningless, environmental, social and governance is a grammatical mingle-mangle: adjective, adjective, noun – where was the subeditor?
How do we get rid of it?
Pay women less, burn more trees, push your staff to burnout. Your head of ESG will flee and no one will accuse you of greenwashing.